It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize