The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
