after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
