i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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