Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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