Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
3pm strippers are depressing
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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