I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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