we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
