fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
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I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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