Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
