well you can't waste a boner
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
