Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
