And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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