you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
