1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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