And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
