Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
