my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
