I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
