You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize