And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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