I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
