She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
