First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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