ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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