Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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