Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
