AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
