after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
