She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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