I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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