The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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