I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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