she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I have post one night stand depression
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