so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
