I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
