know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
