ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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