ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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