Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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