Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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