am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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