Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
