accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So squirting runs in the family.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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