I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
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It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
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So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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