We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Randomize
