We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
