...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
