ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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