I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
