we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize