guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
