Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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