i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
