I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
