this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize