God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
