We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
