i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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