Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just blew my weed a kiss
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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