I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
